24 Jul

Just Thinking

Publié par Audate Starson - Catégories : #Harrisburg

Here I am on my bed, tossing and turning myself upside down trying to find the perfect spot, allowing the magical effect of sleep to take me to no man's land. I flip my pillow upside down multiple time longing for that sleep to come. Millions of thoughts are rushing into my mind, some not so clean, some not so politically correct either, but for the most part I was thinking about tomorrow. I put myself to bed around eleven expecting a beautiful Saturday in the morrow, little did I know tomorrow has already been transformed into today for it is exactly one in the morning at the moment I choose to look at the time and finish that sentence.

I guess I might just not be strong or brave enough to close my eyes. Or maybe I need to be awakened to contemplate Oppa, my goldfish, happily swim in her two and a half gallons of water while her buddy the catfish, who I haven't found the name yet, calmly taking a nap at the bottom of what I call my very own aquarium. She seems happy, but f that is my religious duty for the night, I am a hundred percent sure that I will miss the opportunity to deliver as I am thinking that must not just be it. Deep down I was a little jealous of my fish.

Are there any reasons for me to envy that happy-looking-fish? Does she miss her family like I do when I can look at pictures or trying to recreate the aroma of mom's cooking in my head? Does her family miss her like mine do, while mine can call me? It's not like they can touch me or anything or looking at my face to catch the sarcasm behind my word or anything.

I am not an ichthyologist, but one thing I know is that some fish do migrate and I would assume in those journeys fish do lost fishy-buddy, maybe behind Oppa's joyful personality there's a big gap that she can only fill with a positive attitudes. It's not like she would miss mister catfish if she were to be relocated like I will.

Wait a second... Oh well, I think I found what's forming a fist in my heart and the reason why my laptop is drowning in tears. I think I have a theory behind my crankiness lately and why hiding in my room seems more comfortable than the living room. I'd prefer not to say... Oh well it is life. It is not like I can stop the earth from spinning or make a fish fly instead of swimming nor do I can take with me my host family to live on college campus with me. However, I can sure do make good use of everything that I have learned, I can keep those life skills Mr. and Mrs. Reynolds and their entire family has taught me. The experience has been by far the best, from driving to Alabama to sleeping in a tent in the nature and so on.

What about my Harrisburg's friends?....

Well, maybe if I try to sleep now I will succeed!!!

Starson